hi. i'm struggling with grudges.

“And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.” ‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭4:26‬-27 ‭NLT‬‬

Ooh. This one is a tough one. I hold grudges, and I hold them well. As Christians, we are called to forgive one another as Christ has forgiven us (Ephesians 4:32). Which is so easy to accept when others are the ones forgiving you, but for us to forgive someone else? They hurt me! Why would I ever forgive them and let them back into my life? Questions that I have been asking myself lately.

We are called to be in community with one another. We are called to encourage one another. While all of that sounds lovely, it doesn’t automatically mean that we will be living in perfect harmony with one another. Arguments happen, feelings get hurt, and so many other things occur within these friendships that are so prominent in our lives. These instances are unavoidable. As much as we hope that our friendships will prove to be perfect, we have to face the fact that we are sinners. Sin invades every aspect of our lives and will seep into every relationship we have. But we can fight this. Our God has given us a voice; a voice that can be used to build up these relationships into one that glorifies Him.

Sin invades every aspect of our lives and will seep into every relationship we have. But we can fight this.

This topic has been one that I’ve been working a lot on this year - talking about my anger/irritation with a friend as soon as it happens. In the past, I’ve been the type of person who bottles things up, claiming everything is “fine.” Then, one little thing will set me off and I have a large emotional release. The person who is on the receiving end of the release has no idea whatsoever that I’ve had all of these thoughts in my head - which only creates a bigger issue. But there is a huge problem with that method! If I keep list in my head of all of the wrongs this person has committed against me, but I don’t share the list - how will anything ever be resolved? 1st Corinthians 3:11 says: “No one can know a person’s thoughts except that person’s own spirit [...].” Unless you’re mad at a mind reader, chances are that they aren’t aware of what they did wrong. Communication is so important. We have to talk things out with one another. We cannot let this hardness build up in our heart for someone who is unaware of the wrongs they committed. We can’t allow the devil to have a foothold into our lives in regards to something that we are so easily able to control. Talk to that friend, figure things out with them and your friendships will become stronger, I promise.